To feel a touch
by zimmembrane13
Summary: Bug doesn't think it's fair.


Alex x Bug! MY Soul to take fanfic. Don't like don't read.

Bug shuttered under the light touch. He hated himself more than ever. The pounding his skull only fueled his agonizing state.

"Bug does it feel good?"

Nodding Bug buried his face into the pillow. At first he didn't mind his friend being there. But now he knew he wasn't actually there. He was just part of his imagination now. He hated when he came home and he would see Alex lying on his bed reading some old magazine, or when he left the room Alex would follow. It was almost like nothing happened. But something did happen. Bug had killed him.

None of the other Riverton Seven did this. Actually they were quite when he was with Alex. It was almost like they were alone.

"Do you have a migraine Bug?"

"Yeah."

Alex stopped rubbing Bug's back and moved his fingers to his temple. Gently he rubbed circles relieving the tension. Sighing Bug melted into the touch. He had forgotten how good Alex was at massaging.

"Hey guess what Bug."

"What?"

"It's almost our birthday"

Bug opened his doe eyes to see Alex gleaming at him.

"were going to be 18! You know what that means?" Alex asked excitedly.

Melancholy shown on Bug's face.

"It's been two years since I've killed you."

Alex's smile slowly faded. He gave Bug a concerned look.

"You still don't blame yourself do you?"

"I could have stopped him without having to kill you, Alex!"

Bug shot up, tears forming. He hated how he was there but not there. He wanted to be with Alex. He missed his scent, the way he ate and talked. Most of all he missed being able to touch him. Alex could touch him why couldn't he touch Alex?

"Bug you did what you needed to do. Besides now I can be here with you forever."

"But you're not here!" Bug shouted at him.

Bug extended his hand to grab Alex's shirt only to grasp air. Tears rolled down his cheek.

"It's not fair! Why can't I touch you?!"

Alex licked his lips nervously. Bug was about to have a mental break down. The rest of the Riverton Seven will be pissed at him if that happened.

"Bug just because you can't touch me doesn't make this situation bad."

Alex reached up and cupped Bug's cheek.

"You can feel my touch can't you?"

Nodding Bug reached up to touch Alex's hand only to feel his own cheek.

"I know this is painful Bug but I'm here and now because I am dead I get to be with you always. You'll never have to be alone."

The knot in Bug's throat didn't leave only grew tighter. It felt like he was chocking.

"Alex I have to tell you something."

Interested in what his friend had to say he took his hand back and stared into Bug's baby blue eyes.

"What is it condor?"

Laughing a little at his old nickname he whipped the tears out of his eyes. He needed to tell Alex while he had the courage to. He didn't care how painful this might make his life he needed to tell him.

"Alex I love you."

Silenced filled the room for a few seconds. To Bug it felt like hours. He could hear his rapid heartbeat. He wondered if Alex could hear it too. The sound of giggling brought Bug back to reality.

"bug I already knew that. I'm inside your head remember?"

A deep blush formed on Bug's face.

"So all of the Riverton seven?"

"Yep, every embarrassing thought you have they know about."

"If you knew why didn't you talk to me about it."

Smiling Alex moved closer to Bug. He tangled his fingers into the blonde curls he was always so fond of. He got a few inches away from Bug's mouth causing the soon to be adult to shiver.

"Because I wanted to tell you first, too bad you beat me to the punch."

Alex pulled Bug into a crushed kiss. It was obvious none of them ever did this before. Inexperienced and excited, Alex had cut Bug's lip. Pulling away Bug touched his swollen lips.

"How could you cut me?"

Confused as well Alex tried to find a reasonable explanation.

"I don't know. Maybe it's a mind over matter thing?"

Bug reached for the other man one last time surprised he could feel him.

"Alex I must have gone crazy because I can feel you."

Voices of the other Seven came rushing through Bug's thoughts. He could hear Penelope saying something about his memory memorizing how he felt. He could also hear Brandon's insults and Britney's comments to Brandon. All the voices coming all at once caused Bug's migraine to creep back up again.

Groaning he plopped back down on the bed.

"Migraine?"

Nodding he reached for Alex's hand. Carefully he laced their fingers together. He didn't care if it was just memories or if he was insane. He was just glad he could touch Alex again.


End file.
